When our admiration of others causes us to stop being 100% happy with ourselves, it only leads us down the road of sadness and self-destruction.
I remember when I was at school and even in my early 20’s, I often felt the need to compare myself to other girls, but it never made me happy. As I learnt more about the power of my thoughts, I began to realise that I needed to be more compassionate towards myself. Our thoughts are very powerful because they shape our emotions, actions and decisions in life! Many athletes and successful business owners understand this secret and so they use daily affirmations to assert the truth about something that they desire in their lives. If you want to achieve something, you must first believe that you have what it takes to do it! The great news is that even if your thoughts have been making you unhappy, you can shape your emotions and actions by training your mind to think in the right way.
HOW TO DISCERN IF YOU ARE SELF COMPASSIONATE
Over the next few days, observe what your ‘inner voice’ is saying. Notice the content and the tone, especially in periods of stress. When we are compassionate towards ourselves, we stop criticising, blaming and being impatient with ourselves when we are challenged. Sometimes we get so used to our inner voice, we do not even realise how nasty we are being to ourselves!
Try questioning and challenging your inner voice (are you speaking the truth? Will this thought help or hinder you in the situation?). When you become aware of unhelpful self-talk, try to alter the tone and language. How would you respond if you were talking to someone you love and care about? On the Arise in Identity course, we dedicate a whole session to friendship with oneself, because the more compassionate we are towards ourselves, the more positive all our relationships will be.
Let us know how you get on with this exercise, we would love to hear your thoughts!